SINCERITY AND LOVE
Sincerity
Last weekend I was fortunate enough to participate in the Shim Sung at the Dahn Yoga Center at Union Square in New York City. I was one of the staffing members. Specifically I was part of the team responsible for the goings on outside the training room. My first task given to me by our team leader was to make out the name tags for the participants. I was asked to write neatly their first name in big letters in the middle of the label and up top in the center of the label write the name of the center where they practice. My writing utensil was a Sharpie which I enjoy using very much. To my standards, my handwriting is good but I wanted to do this particular task with special care and in an acceptable way for the Shim Sung. I tried very hard to write the three letters of the first member’s name neatly on the label. But they came out rigid and stiff. While they were clear and easily readable they had no flow. However I hoped our team leader would not notice this and find it acceptable when I showed it to her for approval. Why did I feel the need to ask her for approval? Well I didn’t want to write out all eighteen labels to find out after the fact that I had done something wrong. You see this has been my approach to life. Don’t make a wrong choice to find out afterwards that you could have avoided so many problems. Other folks are different. They receive an assignment and go forth boldly doing the task as they think it should be done with not even a moment’s hesitation or doubt. I would like to be more like that—more free, more confident, trust myself more. When I showed the label to our leader, she looked at it, paused for a second and when I was sure she was going to say, “It’s fine,” she didn’t. To my surprise she said, “Could you write it more neatly?” I stared at the label bewildered. It certainly didn’t look messy to me. She must have seen my puzzlement because she continued, clarifying, “When you write the member’s name, do it with sincerity and really show your love. Do it with love.” Huh? Write a name tag with love? What kind of a concept is that? I was dumb-founded. I was also a little hurt, upset and I felt like I had failed. This is my habitual reaction to criticism. It is my ego’s battle cry and usually unleashes a series of unproductive reactions like defensiveness, anger, withdrawal. It comes from living many years inside the success-oriented model that sacrifices human values for wild gooses chases like perfection, “correct ways of doing things.” My focus here was on outward display of correctness, rather than an inward energy of good purpose. Living within this success-oriented model has lead to the creation of many bad habits and preconceptions that have caged in my true self, allowing free rein to my ego. Hey, whose Shim Sung was it anyway? For a moment I wondered whether I should be on the other side of the training room. Luckily I have great determination so I did not give up on those labels. I wanted to learn how to make a name tag with sincerity and love. I knew this would be good for my soul. I took up another label, and this time really focused on my activity moment to moment. I spread love through each movement of the Sharpie. I breathed love. I said to myself as I was writing each member’s name, “I love you. I wish for you a good Shim Sung.” I sent a blessing to each of the eighteen Shim Sung participants. This time the experience was entirely different. It had a sweetness to it. A kindness. I felt my actions had purpose and value. And I hadn’t even met these people. They were total strangers. I guess you could say this was a type of “unconditional love.” It was so beautiful. I began to imagine what life could be like if I did every activity with sincerity and love. This would truly be living as a honik ingan. I guess that’s what one Head TrainerMaster meant at a particular workshop I attended when he said as we were breaking for lunch, “Please go and eat for humanity.” At the time I thought it was odd. I was eating to fill my belly. How did humanity get in there? But now I realize, “Feed yourself to feed the world.” It’s all in one’s sense of purpose and the boundary of vision. I want to make mine strong and far-reaching.
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Tags: Shim Sung
